I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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