So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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