remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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