Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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