we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
