carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
