she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
