i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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