I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
