Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
