just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
