i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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