Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
