im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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