She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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