I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
