she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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