yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
You left your phone here
Wait...
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