as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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