I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's never too late to be topless.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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