Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
