you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
