She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
