i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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