i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
