Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
