I'm really into asian looking animals
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
