Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize
