What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
