There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
