Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize