The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
