just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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