it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
vagina is talking i cant
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
