You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
