ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
