Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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