Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
