I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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