Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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