ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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