i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
