I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize