I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize