are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
