Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
