Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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