You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
