I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
