i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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