I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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