Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
