you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
