CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You're like the curious george of whores
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
