There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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