I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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