They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
